Welcome to BP

No More Games

Coach's Note:

This individual is a compulsive gambler. She struggled early on in her BP experience, but after short while, she has not returned to her old ways. In her essay, she makes several comments regarding BP discussion topics. We don't do much lecture; almost all work is done through parable, discussion, story art and laughter. It is organized and formatted, it has to be, but the remarkable quality of people being with others in a grace filled environment really appeals to people. By the way, this is one of dozens of marriages BP has almost sole responsibility for saving. Much good is done when either party makes a concerted effort. If both come in, the record for renewal is 100%. You think I'm kidding? Come on with your bad self.

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When I came to BP, it was a last resort for me. Gambling had shattered my life, marriage and me. I was suicidal and about to have a nervous breakdown. There have been positive changes. My husband has stayed with me; I no longer want to kill myself. I found a way to get out of self by volunteering.

IT HAS SAVED ME. The biggest, most important change was being baptized, knowing at that moment I was giving all of me, heart and soul to God through Jesus. NO MORE GAMES. After reading Jay's story, A Good Bad Example, I knew I was in the right place. I too was at the bottom of life looking up for something. When coach explained the Death Spiral, I would mentally feel myself tumbling down to hell. It was something that put my whole life into words.

In the parable of the chicken I knew I could take off my mask. Now that was scary. .It looked like I felt.. Boy could I relate to that. Most of my life I have been on the outside looking in at you all, the most difficult was writing out the challenge chart and my part. I was afraid I could not mentally handle the truth- I would break down. But, God gave me the strength and guidance and words and love I needed to get through that. Then we had to make something that expressed how we felt about B.P. somehow I missed that in group and had only 2 days to think up something and make it. Hard to do when I didn't believe in myself AT ALL.

God inspired me there too. He just flashed the picture in my mind. I got it down on paper and had just enough time to make it. God is good. The group helped me a lot. I helped me to open up and be honest. When they shared, I shared. We all do touch each others hearts. The teaching of world religions helped me a lot. I had serious lack of knowledge there. It has made me search deeper for God in my soul and I am finding his love, peace, and comfort. Volunteering has taught me that yes, I do have something to give and still have a brain and I can use it. It has also brought out some negative patterns I have to work on like commitment and responsibility.

The whole process has just amazed me. I feel blessed to have been lead to BP. I still have issues to work on so I am doing a second track. I love that in the whole process we are torn apart- then we are put back together again. I thank God, Jay the BP group for all your support and love. I couldn't have done it without you all.