BP Partners

No Dress Rehersal for Parents

Coach's Note:

Parents! Bless your children. Fathers! Mothers! Bless your sons and your daughters. If you don't, more often than not we will spend the rest of our life trying to get your approval. If we ever find it somewhere else, your blessings will no longer matter. Do it when you can as early and as often as possible. Do not misunderstand, there is no dress rehearsal for parenting, and much of our youth is spent in rebellion, but you should do all you can do. It is a rather big spiritual deal. Here is a part of the story:

'When I was about 3 three years old, I was out on the farm in a field with my mom & Dad as they worked. My (sibling) was riding the school bus home. My parents had told the 6-7 year old where they would be & to stay at the house until we returned. (Sibling) panicked when arriving home & seeing no one, ran down the road screaming. I saw Dad run across the field to the road, angrily caught, grabbed, shook and whipped his oldest child. I think from that time on, he scared me to death. I was afraid he would beat me for no good reason, I do not remember him ever doing that to me.'

This Basic Progress participant was 47 years old at the time of this writing. Conversation regarding this topic was clearly laced with bitterness and sadness. This may be an extreme example, but much trouble could be averted if you would tell your children that you love them now and forever. Speak the words.

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Dear Dad,

I want to tell you some things that have been on my heart. Thankfully, after all this time, I am beginning to make sense of it all. From the time I was 3 & saw you beating (sibling), I have been scare to death of you. Through all the years at home when you put me down emotionally & didn't accept me for who I was, I continued to only want your love. All I wanted to do was to please you and only wanted your praise, which I never heard.

With God's help, I've begun to figure out that I have been searching for acceptance and praise especially people I see as in authority. I believe God has brought me through trials & tests recently to bring me to this point. I'm realizing why I've been living my life the way I have. I've had a victim mentality throughout my lifetime that, with God's help, I'm going to change. I want you to know that I want to completely forgive you and I am working toward that end. I believe God will take me there & allow me to be free.

Through BP, I realize now that I've looked for & wanted acceptance from others, especially from authority figures, because of this incident & others emotionally abusive times from my Dad. I never received acceptance or a blessing from him & I've wasted a big part of my life trying to get it from others.